My Friend Carla

Let me tell you about "Carla". Carla is an amazing woman who I worked at camp with. Carla is the mother of two wonderful girls; one in college and one in high school. She is also married to a supportive man and is a fantastic knitter.

Carla is enjoying her last few days on Earth right now. She is battling brain cancer and is making the most out of the time she has left. While her struggle has been going on, I have been living far away and am not able to be close to the community that both Carla and I belong to.

I will admit that I don't have a deep, personal connection with Carla. She was my mentor the first year at camp and we stayed friends but were not super close. Seeing her through Facebook become sick has made me realize that I wish we were closer. I wish I would have given more time to that relationship. Watching her and her family struggle though this time in life has not been easy even from this far away. Sometimes I feel strange talking to other about my sadness about Carla because I am not close to her. Why is my sadness important when there are so many others who are more affected than I am? I have felt this feeling before at the loss of acquaintances. My grief seems so small and inconsequential when I look at other people's grief.

It is mine, though. The feelings I have are real and are true representation of the love that I have for this special woman in my life. She is more than just a name. She is a caring, sweet, loving person who I know and will miss. Just because I am not Carla's best friend does not make my sadness any less real. We will all miss her in our own way. 

I don't know if I will see Carla before she leaves this world. I do know that she will be up in heaven smiling down on her two beautiful girls, devoted husband, and all the numerous people her life has touched.

My friend Mary

Kids have always shocked me. They say things no one expects. They love in such unconditional ways. They are the first to see things us grown ups often overlook.

I have worked at summer camp once a week for the last six summers. At this camp we have 3rd through 12th graders who learn about God, sing, dance, and have a lot of fun. One of the challenges we have is that we have many kids that have Asperger's syndrom (it is on the Autism spectrum). Some people might shy away from these kids. They react to situations differently than how people without Aspergers act. To the outsider, it may be scary to take on kids with some sort of disability.

These kids, though, have taught me so much about what it is to take life as it comes and to be happy with who you are. We had a girl at camp for a few years (I'll call her Mary) who had low functioning Aspergers. The more low functioning a person is means that they function less "normally" than someone who is high functioning. Mary was difficult sometimes to get to do things and to stay on track but she also had a personality that you could not stay away from. We had a talent show one night and she got up on stage without music and just danced. Dancing because it was what she loved to do. How wonderful would that be to do something because you love it and not because you have to or because you will be embarrassed one way or the other? You could also see Mary wear her heart on her sleeve. If she didn't like something, she told you just as strongly as she told you she loved something. She was true to who she was. I admire her for that. We should all try to live more like Mary.

All this is to say, don't step away from someone who has a disability. Talk to them. Be their friend or at least say hi. I have learned so much about who I am and who I want to be through Mary and others like her.

My friend Will

I want to say that in this blog, I will be referencing stereotypes that I know are not facts or truths. But, let's face it, a lot of what people believe about groups of people are not facts or truths.

I have this friend. For this blog we will call him Will. He is a loving, caring, talented man who happens to be black. He makes me smile when I see him and always has some great things to say. As a petite, white female sometimes I find myself shying away from larger black men (white men, too, but that is for another blog entry). You hear stories on the news and from people of attacks by black men. I also personally know someone who has been beaten up for no reason by 2 young black men.

So all this put together made me a little wary of Will at first. I subconsciously let my judgments hold me back from getting to know him. As soon as I realized what I was doing, though, I decided that I wanted to make an effort to get past this stereotype. Many of my friends knew him and had only wonderful things to say about him. Why should I feel differently? I am so thankful that I took that step and decided to talk to Will. You could not meet someone that has a brighter smile than him. We found that we share similar beliefs and a love of music. He also has a fantastic way of telling stories that have you rolling on the ground with laughter. Will was not some big black man who was out to get me. I am forever grateful that I put the stereotypes by the way side and took a chance on someone who looks to be very different from me.

Let me introduce myself

When you think of what is in the news right now, what do you think of?

War...

Bullying...

Hatred...

Sickness...

I think of these things and it make me sad, angry, and many other emotions. Mostly, though, it makes me want to do something. Something to get some positivity out into the world. Something to let others know that not all of us accept bullying, hatred, and killing as the norm in our world. So I decided to start this blog.

I know, it's just a blog. But here is how I see it. I will talk about someone in my life or a group of people I know and how they influence and enhance my life. Each day I will put positive words out onto this blog for others to read and to think about who makes their lives better. I want to also talk about issues that are going on in the world and how I am dealing with them in a real but not malicious way.

I think to start all this off, I need to give a little background on who I am. I am a white, middle class female in my late 20's. I live in a city in New England and have lived a pretty normal life. I have a strong, loving family who is very supportive. I graduated from college with an undergraduate degree in political science. I now work in the Episcopal church and am heading on the path to discernment to hopefully become a priest in the Episcopal church. I have lost people in my life to sickness, old age, and tragic events. I am no stranger to death as I also volunteer at a Hospice group.

All of that information gives you a little look at who I am. It also gives you an idea of my political and social leanings. As is common for a person my age, I am liberal in my views. I have always said "I may not agree with you, but I respect your opinions". I truly think that is where our nation has its problem. The USA is a land of diversity and of having your own voice. It has also become the land of "loving-your-own-voice-so-much-that-you-won't-listen-to-anyone-else". We need to learn to accept our differences and know that everyone's voice is original and deserves to be heard and respected.

I am here to do my little part. To be positive, happy, and to love those who are not like me.